Great topic, and I'll cover it on my new podcast, soon.
In the original post, almost everyone agreed with this statement. I have to disagree, because people aren't understanding there's a distinctive difference in the meaning of loving someone, versus being in love!
You develop love over time, not overnight. Unconditionally love takes real time to be developed, and it's by choice that you establish a relationship, and choose to invest time with someone; which may or may not lead to genuine unconditionally love.
Spending quality time with someone is undoubtedly a choice! Now, falling in love is simply a totally different thing, all together! It can literally happen quickly, without thought, without choice, and overnight! You can invest little time, and automatically, naturally just fall in love!
I also don't think we have very much choice in who we fall deeply in love with, because it seriously just happens. "Cupids arrow." That's why they say love is blind. Cupid was said to be blind. The entire concept is built upon falling in love unexpectedly, without choice. It just suddenly happens with someone, it was meant to be, and you didn't choose them; love chose for you!
You fall in love with the idea of being with someone in particular, you may fall in love with the idea of being in love, and you fall in love with the way someone makes you feel around them, and about yourself!
When genuine, unconditionally love is developed, you love that person for who they are, and what they symbolize to you. You love them no matter what the situation, circumstances, or whatever you go through as a couple. That takes serious time to develop.
You can develop unconditionally love for someone over years of choosing to be together in a committed relationship. You can honestly say you love them, but that doesn't automatically mean you're in love with them! You can choose to be with someone, often, establish a committed relationship, and develop genuine love for them over years of time, but were never ever in love with them!
Yes, falling in love quickly, overnight, and without choice can happen, and you can easily fall right out of love just as fast! Once you've developed unconditionally love, that took real time to develop by choice; its definitely possible to love that person forever, even if you choose to break up!
I'm positive some people go their entire lives never knowing what it's like to be in love! Some people may very well be incapable of falling in love; especially those that don't know the real meaning, are against it, bitter, lack passion in life, and the areas of love.
No one can break your heart if you were never in love with them, bottom line! You can experience disappointment, or constant disappointment within a relationship, and yeah that can be considered a form of heart break; within itself. Constant disappointment can destroy any kind of a relationship.
I've never ever fall madly in love with a man that totally lacks passion! The unbridled chemistry absolutely, positively must be present to fall in love. No chemistry in the kiss? No sparks fly when hugging? No real bonding when being intimate? It's IMPOSSIBLE to fall in love!
Lack of passion, and chemistry won't stop you from investing real time together, and eventually developing unconditionally love; yet you'll just never feel the massive power of being in love!
What about couples that developed unconditionally love, and were once in love, but fell out of love; yet when they decided to part ways, they still felt love for each other!?
Same with leaving someone who took you for granted, and treated you poorly by CHOICE! You may choose to walk away knowing you still have some love remaining in your heart for them; but no longer in love, or never was in love with them!
You can meet someone, fall madly in love quickly, and it's extremely powerful, and it didn't take years to develop. You can meet someone, like them a lot in the beginning, choose to establish a relationship, and end up loving them, but never ever falling in love!
I think people need to dig deeper into the definitions, and different meanings of both terms! After almost half a year, I can honestly say I've developed unconditionally love for my current husband! We've literally been through so much, and stood by each other the entire time! No matter the situation, circumstances or conditions; I love him, and will always love him!
I fell in love with him quickly, overnight, without choice, without thought, and without giving up a fight! It literally, just magically happens fast! Each day, I continue to find myself falling more, and more in love with him! I love him as a person, yeah sure, but I'm totally in love with the way he makes me feel about myself, and I'm in love with the way I feel when were together!
I think about him when I first wake up, throughout the day, every single day since we met, and just before I fall asleep! When we're physically apart I still feel his presence inside my heart, and soul! I don't even want to imagine my life without him! I don't want to be with anyone else, ever in life!
Our chemistry is naturally present, and powerful! Our bond is strong, and solid! Intimacy between us is so natural, never forced, and creating romance is soooo super easy; never ever forced! I love him, but I'm undoubtedly madly in love with him!
If the kissing between 2 people isn't passionate, I don't even see how it's possible to fall in love! I don't think it takes only 1 person to be in love; you actually both gotta feel it! If you think you're in love with someone, and don't think they're in love with you; in my opinion that's called infatuation! Maybe even being obsessed with them; which doesn't have to be felt by you both, to be real for only one of you!
There's no pain, except the loss of someone you loved; like the pain of actual heart 💔 break! Much like falling in love, and being in love, it totally consumes you! Being in love is one of the most powerful emotions to ever experience in life, and equally as strong as heart break!
I was in a relationship for 11 years, and married a decade! I can truthfully tell you, I was NEVER EVER IN LOVE WITH HIM! Some people don't need to experience the power of falling in love, and staying in love, to establish a relationship, and remain in it for YEARS!
Falling in love isn't necessarily the most important thing, but it can definitely be important; it all depends on who you're asking! Unconditionally love cannot be developed quickly. Falling deeply in love can happen fast, right before your very eyes!
I prayed for the kind of man, my husband is, prayed for the kind of relationship/marriage we have, and prayed to fall deeply in love! Watch what you pray for, and ask God to bring into your life; be grateful, never take it for granted, cherish it, respect it, and be mindful!
I think unconditionally love makes people want to fight for the relationship, but it's gotta be felt equally, so there's effort from you both! I think being in love is what makes people choose to maintain their relationship!
Waheguru
The Singhs 2023