How To Create & Maintain A Healthy Relationship Or Marriage!

Every relationship, or friendship NEEDS a solid foundation to build upon, then regular maintenance, love, time, and attention to flourish!

Friendships with friends, relationships with family, boyfriend/girlfriend, and husband/wife! When you value something you put in the time to build, and maintain! Like a plant needs water, and in most cases: sunlight, and food to grow, so do our relationships.

I remember doing a lengthy blog post a few years ago, on how to create intimacy in your relationship. Many people complimented me on that blog, and said that I listed so many wonderful ideas.

Each person in a relationship or friendship has their own individual relationship responsibilities! This isn't about working hard to provide, saving money for your future, cooking, cleaning, etc. This is all about YOUR relationship responsibilities, and they ARE real!

Intimacy cannot be magically created! You can't fake it, it can't be one-sided, you cannot borrow, or steal it. In many cases, romance can be created by creating a romantic setting, but if there's literally no chemistry; intimacy nor romance absolutely, positively CANNOT be created by just one person!

Being in love is completely different than loving someone! We have no control over who we fall deeply in love with, when it happens, or when, or if fades! We do have the choice to spend time with someone, and eventually love them; which can lead to unconditionally love in the long run.

Being in love automatically creates strong chemistry, which naturally creates intimacy! You add in romance, and quality time; then it becomes more powerful automatically.

You either naturally fall love, usually quickly, and overnight, or you just don't; no matter how much time passes it'll never exist. You can fall love with the way someone makes you feel about yourself; by the way the treat you, and speak to you. I don't think it's possible to love someone unconditionally if you don't 1st love yourself!

Here's my long list of things people do when in love, that create a solid foundation to build upon for years to come, and are done to maintain a healthy marriage or relationship.

1. Tell each other essential things about your past. The past no longer exist, but you may be who you choose to be today, because of your past.

2. Be completely upfront about your relationship expectations. Talk about your goals pertaining to a committed relationship, and or marriage.

3. Talk about your likes, and dislikes in general; specifically when referring to a mate, partner or spouse.

4. Talk about the future, create goals, and future plans together.

5. Talk about sex, intimacy, romance; things related to those topics that you'd like to try one-day. Things you seriously dislike pertaining to those exact topics.

6. Tell each other the characteristics, and personality traits you adore about each other.

7. List all the physical things that attract you to each other.

8. Cuddle, snuggle, hold, hug, kiss, laugh, pillow talk,...

9. Watch romantic comedies together. Watch romantic movies together. Go to the movies together.

10. Create a comfy, simple fort on your living room floor, and have a date night at home. Popcorn, dinner, pillows, blankets, etc.

11. Visit family together! Visit friends together. Have visitors over your home, and have fun together.

12. Visit national monument, local attractions, museums, amusement parks; attend local events together, and travel together.

13. Go to medical appointments together to give emotional, and moral support.

14. Seek further education, and enlightenment together. Watch documentaries, read books, take a workshop together, etc.

15. Pray side by side, pray for each other's families, go to a chapel, church, temple or Gurdwara together, OFTEN!

16. Listen to music together, and dance at home together.

17. Cook side by side in your kitchen, hand feed each other; have genuine conversations while enjoying a meal together at home.

18. Go out on date nights, often if possible. Lunch dates, dinner dates, street food, food at a local fair, and try new restaurants out, together.

19. Read to each other, read poetry, create a poem for them; then read it to them, or write it down, and hand it to them.

20. Dress up, go out, paint the town red.

21. Dress provocatively at home.

22. Go to the gym, or workout at home together on a regular basis.

23. Play old school board games, play intimacy/romantic board games together.

24. Take photos to post in social media to show how much you adore each other.

25. Get professional photos taken, frame your engagement photos, or wedding photos.

26. Celebrate your individual achievements by going to dinner, having friends or family over.

27. Give your spouse lots of POSITIVE attention, be thoughtful, mindful, caring, and attentive.

28. Give them positive feedback, positive reinforce, encouragement, praise, dote upon them, and compliment them EVERY SINGLE DAY!

29. Have genuine conversations by actively listening, giving them individual, undivided attention, and nooo devices!

30. Ask them how they're feeling, how was their day, and often ask them; if they're happy, and do you make them happy.

31. Order things online together, go shopping together, decorate or maintenance your home together.

32. Donate to charity together, or become a positive person by getting involved in your community, together.

33. Respect each other's personal space, personal belongings, beliefs, outlooks, opinions, and do as many positive things, as possible, together.

34. Meditate, yoga, exercise TOGETHER!

35. Go on adventures, on journeys of spiritual enlightened, TOGETHER.

36. Play some of these new age, social media trending games together.

37. Try out traditional snacks from other cultures, TOGETHER.

38. Make financial decisions, set financial goals, and invest in financial endeavors together.

39. Create hobbies together, and incorporate each other into your own favorite, individual hobbies.

40. Throw parties at home, have family functions at your house, celebrate special occasions, holidays, Birthdays, anniversaries, and have adult cocktail parties or BBQ's at your home.

41. Pamper each other, groom each other, light candles, and have a romantic dinner at home!

42. Go to a nail salon, and get manicure/pedicure treatment together.

The key words to this entire list are; "doing positive things TOGETHER!"

No relationship worth its weight in gold can ever last a lifetime if it's truly, always one-sided! One person can undoubtedly destroy a relationship, but it inevitably takesthe WORK of 2, to build, grown, maintain, flourish; be successful overall, fulfilling for you BOTH, and last forever!

If you neglect your spouse, and or YOUR own, individual relationship responsibilities; do not expect your relationship to last!

Disappointment kills any, and all relationships eventually! No one's looking forward to spending time with someone who constantly, consistently disappoints them, and symbolizes negativity to them!

Positive energy, positive vibes, self awareness, commitment, goals, plans, thoughtfulness,.... it takes pure WORK from both people involved!

Waheguru

The Singhs 2023